Sex usually becomes “bad sex” when the participants care more about the act of sex than making love. Having sex strictly to “get off” or self-pleasure is insulting to your partner. Sex should be the result of making love acts throughout the day which at the end of the day result is sex (or maybe in the middle of the day).
Let me just say that if either individual is more concerned with the act of having sex and satisfying themselves without caring if they bring pleasure to their partner, that relationship is heading for dissolution. Normally if one doesn’t get what they want at home, they search on the outside. As wrong as that may be, lack or communication and refusal to understand our partner leads to trouble in any relationship.
Some of the following actions, thoughts or behavior can have a negative result in most sexual relationships:
- Poor body image
- concern over your weight
- Financial issues
- Too much Facebook
- Not addressing that you don’t like the way your partner looks after all these years
- Not specifying what you like or hate in the process of having sex
- Unresolved or constant problems in the relationship
- Worry that your penis won’t “measure up.” (it’s not the size, but what you do with it that counts).
- Concern about ejaculating too early
- Yeast infections
- Daily stress
- Concerns about taking too long to reach orgasm
- Not getting pleasure from satisfying your partner
- Living with your parents
- Anxiety about not being able to have an orgasm or enjoy the sexual experience
- Treating the other person as an object instead of a loving partner
- Jumping into sex without having any ‘making love’ actions throughout the day*
* Making Love Actions: Holding hands, not being hesitant to hug or kiss in public, listening to each other, supporting each other on a daily basis, complementing each other, being truthful with each other, laughing together, protecting each other, spending moments of silence with each other, enjoying being together no matter what you are doing and understanding each other’s weaknesses, strengths, limitations and stress points are all parts of the “love making process.”
© Copyright – Hector Sectzer
